If you have never heard of asexuality, I don’t blame you. The “A” in LGBTQIA is often mistaken for “ally,” a letter for all the straight allies to feel like they are part of the queer community, and once upon a time, it was an identity I used to pride myself in.
But as the information age grew, so did I, and so did my feelings, my sense of self, and my identity. By age 20, I could label my sexuality for what it was-asexual, a person who has no sexual feelings or desires.
In the three years since then, I’ve learned a few things: Coming out as asexual is not a momentous occasion. It won’t make headlines in its radicalness, and I won’t be seen as “brave” for embracing my new identity. However, this label has given me a new filter in how I perceive the world, especially in terms of dating.
Having grown up with strict parents, I am a novice when it comes to dating in general, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want companionship and mutual attraction from a partner. However, in a heteronormative culture that is steeped with the belief that sex is a crucial part of all relationships, what are my chances of finding someone that would understand that I don’t have a sex drive?
Sexuality hookup sites Richmond aside, there are other factors about my identity that cause people to form an immediate opinion of me. Although I’m Bangladeshi, many people assume that I am Indian, and I’m often seen as “exotic” due to my skin tone. As someone who’s read as “other” on dating apps, there was a connotation that I would be sexually promiscuous, further commodifying my body for male fantasies. Continue reading “How hard is it for an asexual to find love online?”